How To Become A Stay-At-Home Mom: Complete Transition Guide

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How To Become A Stay At Home Mom

Becoming a stay at home mom or stay at home parent is a difficult decision to make. There are a lot of factors that should be considered before steps are taken to stay at home. Your planning for this change might happen well in advance, so that you have time to prepare for the change, or it may happen quickly, spending on your circumstances. 

girl kissing moms cheek

The pew research center study shows that in recent years, becoming a stay-at-home parent has increased. This can be due to a variety of reasons, from increased childcare costs, to tough decisions being made for the betterment of your family.  

Today, I am excited to share some tips and tricks with you, about what you should consider before taking the leap to become a stay at home mom, and how to turn your dream into a reality.

You Cannot Afford To Be A Stay At Home Mom

The primary reason why many moms feel that they can’t become stay-ay-home mom, is most often because of finances. You might feel that your spouse does not make enough money to provide for your family, if you quit your paid job, and stay home with the kids. 

On top of it all, society tells you that you have to be a two income home in order to give your kids everything you want. Its believed that expensive vacations, experiences, and things should all be given to your children in order for them to have a good childhood. 

While it is true that in order to be a stay at home mom, you would quit your traditional job, and live with just one household income, things can be tight at times. But, the cost of being a stay at home mom might not be as high as it first appears. 

When you think of becoming a stay at home mom, you initially think of your income being lost. But, it’s not only becoming a one income household, you should also consider places where you will save money, such as daycare costs, lunch expenses for eating out, gas it takes you to get to and from your job, etc. These things all add up, not to mention opportunity cost, which may not be money that comes directly out of your pocket, but will eventually cost you in other ways. 

To Be Stay At Home Parent, You Will Make Sacrifices

The bottom line is that if you want to become a stay at home mom, you will make sacrifices. However, these sacrifices don’t have to be things you regret. In reality, you may regret it if you don’t make sacrifices to stay at home. 

When you are a household of one primary income, you may not be able to afford all of your wants, but likely your needs will be taken care of. If not, you may need to cut back in some areas, or figure out how to generate more income so that you can afford it. 

There will be days as a stay at home mom, when the days are not easy. You will lose sleep, not have much alone time, and may feel like you have given up your identity. Just remember, you have a new purpose, taking care of your family, and your home. 

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    How to Afford to be a Stay-At-Home Mom

    One of the main things you will need to figure out when wanting to lean how to make a stay at home mom become a reality for you, is figuring out your finances. 

    Now remember, there are other things to consider when determining how to become a stay at home mom, such as is it a good fit for you and your family, and what you will do as a stay at home mom. But the primary factor that will determine if it is possible all comes back to money. 

    Because you will be a one income household, it is really important to figure out if you and your spouse will be able to swing it.  

    Find Ways To Save Money To Live Off One Income

    Learning how to save money in order to live off of one income is very important, when you want to stay at home. Here are a few basic ways to get you started thinking about how these and other ideas might apply to your situation.

    Check Your Transportation Situation

    Transportation can be expensive. Before you quit to stay at home, it is wise to evaluate how much your monthly payments are on your vehicles, and if you need them. Another option might be to sell your current car, and buy a lower cost one that works, and that you can afford to buy outright, which will eliminate a payment. 

    If you don’t need the extra vehicle hanging around, then selling it outright could save you a lot of money, both in car payments, insurance, and registration. Owning a car isn’t cheep, so if it’s not a need, selling it can really help you out.

    Reevaluate Your Living Situation

    What is your living situation? Do you live in an apartment, rent a house, or do you own a house? How much are your monthly payments? These are all questions you will want to start asking about your current place of residence. 

    If you live in an apartment, or rent, what is your monthly payment? Are there other areas nearby that cost less to live? If you are considering staying at home, you might want to check out other options and see what is available to you. Doing this can help cut your monthly expenses. 

    If you have purchased a home, how large are your monthly mortgage payments? We often think that we need to have a nice large home, so that everyone has their own space, and each child has their own bedroom. Believe it or not, this isn’t necessary, and considering other, smaller options can lessen the financial strain on you. 

    In addition to looking at a smaller home, you could also be sure to check out the prices of different homes in your area. Some areas are considered more desirable, and therefore have a higher price tag associated with them. If you look a little farther out, you may be able to save a few bucks.  

    Take Control Of Your Food Budget

    The next thing you might want to consider when trying to find ways to save money so that you can become a stay at home mom, is to keep a close eye on your food budget. If you are able, you will want to make as many meals at home as possible. 

    When you are cooking meals at home, it is going to be less expensive to make them from scratch, than it is to buy premade food items. Remember, your cooking doesn’t have to be super fancy, it just needs to be sustaining. 

    Meal Planning Saves Money

    Before you go grocery shopping, it is a great idea to plan your meals ahead for the week or even two weeks if you are able. This way you will prevent yourself from impulse buying. If the food isn’t needed to make a meal with, then it’s not a necessary purchase.  

    Eliminate Unnecessary Costs

    Other ways you can try to save money is by decreasing your unnecessary costs. For example, how much do you pay for your phone bill? You might be able to save a lot of money by switching to a prepaid phone plan, rather than using a traditional phone plan. 

    Another thing to consider is, do you really need to go visit the nail salon so often, or could you be satisfied with a few color options of nail polish at home? This is a great way to save some money. 

    Could you consider not visiting your hair dresser as often, especially not getting your hair dyed? Perhaps this is a touchy subject, but consider how much it costs you each time you get your hair done. This is a place that you could easily save some money. 

    Another item for you to consider cutting, or at least cutting back on is your streaming services. It is so easy to get hooked, paying for several different monthly streaming services, whether it’s hulu, Netflix, Apple music, icloud storage, etc. Consider if you have any of these, or others, if they could be cut back, or even cut out completely. 

    These are just a few basic ways that you might be able to easily cut back on your monthly bills, so that you can become a stay at home mom. Be sure to talk about these different areas with your spouse, and also think if there are other areas you might be able to cut back, so that your dream of being a stay at home mom can become a reality. 

    boy kissing moms cheek

    Pay Off Debt To Be A Stay At Home Parent

    Another way to afford being a stay at home mom, is to look at your debt. Yes, the dreaded debt, that we all like to ignore and hope it will somehow miraculously go away. Sadly, it’s not going to go away, until you face it, and come up with a plan. 

    If you want to become a stay at home mama, one of the easiest ways to achieve this goal, is to pay off your debt. Once debt is paid off, your living expenses drop significantly, so that you are much more likely to afford staying at home. 

    Working May Be More Expensive Than You Think

    Say what?! That’s right, believe it or not, when you, as the mom, actually works a full-time job, it might be more expensive than you think it is. Let’s think about this together. 

    You go to work, and you bring home a paycheck, right? While that is true, there is a cost for you to go to work. The first, and one of the largest costs is child care. 

    You don’t want to leave your child with just anyone, so you have carefully searched for a nice daycare, but unfortunately the costs of daycare are quite high. What most people don’t realize is that the cost of daycare alone eats up a good part of mom’s paycheck, and that’s only if she has one child in daycare. If you have two children, then the cost is going to be even more. 

    Now, let’s consider other costs that go into you working outside of the home. There’s the cost of gas that you put in your car, to get you to and from work. The cost of this is going to look different for everyone, but it’s still an important factor to consider. 

    Then what about those days you are running behind, and just don’t have enough time to make lunch for yourself or your spouse to take to work. Because of this, you end up going out for lunch more often than you might like to consider. 

    There is also the cost of clothes. Most jobs will have a dress code of some kind that you have to adhere to. No matter what that dress code might look like, it’s not going to be cheap to buy those clothes. 

    Then there is opportunity cost. This might vary depending on the choices you make, and in some cases, the financial impact is harder to determine. A lot of times, the opportunity cost might be related to your children. 

    Have you noticed that Bobby is acting out a lot more when he gets home from daycare? This could be linked to bad behavioral problems as a result of his childcare. 

    Childcare May Be Linked To Behavioral Problems

    Behavioral problems often arise in children who pick up bad behaviors for different reasons. One of the ways it may be linked is from daycare. You may notice your child acting out with a temper tantrum, when that is very out of character for your child. It may be that they would really benefit from having their mom stay at home. 

    Create An Emergency Fund To Stay At Home

    Another great way to plan ahead when you are trying to determine how to afford being a stay at home mom is to first create an emergency fund. This way, you have a bit of cash set aside, incase something goes wrong. 

    The amount you need to set aside will depend on your family, and your unique situation. After all, things happen in life, and you might need some cash available. An emergency fund can be used for medical emergencies, home repairs, or vehicle maintenance. As they say, when you own stuff, your stuff actually owns you because of the repairs it might need.  

    Increase Your Income To Stay Home

    Another great way to help you and your spouse be able to afford mom staying at home is to increase your income. There are a variety of ways this can be done. 

    In my case, my husband is a very handy man. Because of this, he often gets called by those in our area to help them out. If you or your husband has special talents, this is a great way for your family to make some extra income. 

    Other ideas might include working a second job, pulling overtime if allowed, or you finding a part time job, or flexible hours job that you can do as a stay at home mom. 

    Jobs For Stay At Home Moms

    There are several options for moms to earn extra money as stay at home moms. From part-time work, to work from home jobs, or even starting your own small business, these are all great ways to earn additional income. Some of my favorite mom jobs include, starting your own Etsy shop if you have a creative streak, selling baked goods, or starting a blog. The trick is to find something you are interested in, and that will be flexible to your schedule. 

    Live Off One Income, While Still Making Two! (The Ultimate Strategy!)

    If you are able to, one of the best ways you are able to test out how things will be if you become a stay at home mom, is to challenge your family to live off only your husband’s income while you are still working. 

    Doing this will help you achieve your financial goals, help you pay off debt, and even build an emergency fund, while you give it a try. If you are able to try living off of one income while still making two, you will have a good idea of what life will be like when the second income goes away. Then you and your spouse will need to decide if its a decision you can live with or not. 

    Now that you know the basics of how to afford being a say at home mom, let’s transition. Next I’m going to share with you, all of the things I wish I had known before becoming a stay at home mom. Then how to make the transition from having your own career, to becoming a stay at home mom. 

    What I wish I knew about being a Stay-At-Home Mom

    Try not to worry about what others think

    As you probably learned when you first announced you were engaged, getting married, or having your first baby, everyone has an opinion, and they don’t usually keep it to themselves. This also is true when you quit your job, and become a stay at home mom, everyone will have an opinion about it, and it may not all be good things that you want to hear. 

    One of the best things you can do for yourself and your family is to not worry about what other people think and say. You and your spouse have made this decision because you thought it was best for you and your family. Now, as difficult as it is, you have to let everyone else’s opinion roll off of your back, knowing that you have done what you think is right. 

    It’s OK if you don’t like being a stay-at-home mom sometimes

    Remember when you had difficult days at your job, and just wanted to walk out? Unfortunately, not all days are going to be easy as a stay at home mom. There are some days where you feel like you just can’t do it anymore, or you may feel like you are failing your kids. You aren’t. 

    It’s okay to have difficult days, give yourself grace, and start the next day fresh, because this too shall pass, and it often passes much too quickly. 

    You might change your mind and decide you don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom

    After you have been a stay at home mom for a while, you may realize that this isn’t really what is best for you and your family. The reasons behind this change of heart may vary. 

    If this is you, make sure that you have given it an honest to goodness try, and know without a double that it’s just not working. When you know, that you know, that you know, it’s okay to change your mind. 

    Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t require perfection

    Mama, life can be crazy, and messy, even as a stay at home mom. Don’t hold yourself to perfection, because it just might not happen. Remember that what you see on social media, is people putting their best self out there. 

    You aren’t seeing the pile of dishes in the sink, trash that needs to go out, and messy house that they likely have too. Give yourself grace, and remember you are doing what you can in this season of life. 

    The next season might look differently, it might not. For now, you just keep going. You’ve got this! 

    If Mama aint happy aint no body happy

    Before we move on, I just want to say that it is very important that you take care of yourself. You might feel like you are always giving of yourself to your husband and your kids, by seeing to their needs, and taking care of the house. 

    But remember, if you are empty than there isn’t going to be anything left for you to give. Because of this, it is really important that you find a little bit of time for yourself during the day. This will look different for each mom. 

    Just remember, if you aren’t allowing your soul time to recharge, your battery is going to be empty. And as my Mom once pointed out, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. 

    How to Successfully Transition into Being Stay-at-Home Mom

    When you are getting ready to transition from working a full time job, to being a stay at home mom, there are a few things that might blind side you. Here are a few things I learned when making the change. 

    My job was my identity

    I left a good job in the corporate world to stay at home. Even though I was ready for the change, I was blindsided by the fact that once I quit, I felt like I had lost my identity. I didn’t realize just how much I had let it define me. 

    Remember that your identity isn’t found it a title, or a job, or even in being a mom. You are a wonderful, unique individual who can not be replaced. This is a difficult lesson to learn, if you are wrapped up in your job, like I was. Just because you aren’t working outside of the home does not mean that you no longer have a worth or a value. 

    I suddenly felt anxious about spending money

    The next thing I wan’t expecting was after I quit working outside of the home, I felt like I couldn’t spend any money. I actually felt guilty about it when it did. 

    If you find yourself feeling this way, it’s a good idea to talk to your spouse about it. Remember this was a decision that the two of you made together for the betterment of your family. 

    I still feel time-scarce

    Likely when  you were working, you felt like you never had any time. I know I sure felt this way. Always working, not much time left for family, housework, or even friends. 

    If you find yourself feeling this way, you might find it helpful to make a list to help you stay on track so that you can accomplish all that you need to during the day. Remember, you can usually get a lot more done if you put your phone away, and turn off any other screens. These are often a time sucking distraction. 

    How To Be A Stay At Home Mom

    When you have made the decision to become a stay at home mom, you might be wondering how do you actually go about doing it? Let’s take a look at the two main options. 

    Option #1:  Just Take the plunge

    While this might not be the best option for everyone, it is still an option. Since I am a planner, I like to think ahead, and plan for the future, but if you want to act once you and your spouse have made the decision, by all means, you can simply turn in your resignation, and quit your job to become a stay at home mom. 

    Mentally prepare yourself for tough times ahead

    If you choose to jump right in, there may be some bumpy roads ahead for you. Not only financially, but also mentally. Our minds love to play tricks on us, and make us second guess all of our decisions, no matter how sure we were at the time. 

    Immediately cut expenses

    When you decide to quit right away and become a stay at home mom, it is going to be very important to your family and your marriage for you to quickly cut out any unnecessary expenses. Then you will want to look for any other ways you can decrease your expenses. This will look different for each family, so be sure to thoroughly explore your different options. 

    Pick up a side gig

    If you have decided to just go ahead and quit your job, it might put a financial strain on your family. In order to help out with this, you could look into different side hustle options that could help bring in additional income for your family. 

    Option #2:  Plan for it Ahead of Time

    The other option, and the needed option for most families is to plan for you to quit your job to become a stay at home mom, before you actually do it. 

    Perhaps you and your husband have talked about you staying home, once you have your first baby. Now that you are expecting, it is time to begin planning so that you can put the plan into action. 

    Side note, if you are pregnant, while working a full time job, it is often financially responsible for you to check into the parental leave offered by your employer. If they offer decent paid time off, after your baby is born, it might be a good idea to wait and resign after the baby is born, rather than before. Just food for thought. 

    Save as much money as possible

    When you are planning to quit and become a stay at home mom, you will want to try and save as much money as possible. This will help you later on, as you have unexpected expenses. Or it could simply help you to build of a bit of a cushion in your savings. 

    Pay off debt

    The next thing you will want to be sure to do is to pay off your debt as much as possible. The less you owe monthly, the better off your family will be. 

    Pick up a side gig

    If you are able, consider starting a side hustle to help bring in extra money when your paycheck is gone. To do this you will want to research what sounds interesting to you, then pursue how you can make money from it. 

    You might explore photography, selling items online, blogging, website design, gardening, or selling flowers. These are just a few ideas, but there are so many different ways you can make money outside of a 9-5 job. Try to get creative and see what appeals to you. 

    Cut expenses

    The next way you will want to plan ahead is to cut back on as many expenses as you can. This might be as big of a change as downsizing on your home, so that you aren’t house poor. Or selling your nice car, for a less costly one. You might also consider looking at your monthly bills, such as streaming services, or service providers to see if they are still used, or if you can cut back on any of them.  

    mom and kids by mountain

    How to make money as a stay-at-home mom

    Once you make the transition to being a stay at home mom, you may discover that you need a little extra income. But don’t feel like you have to go back to a full time, or even part time job. There are several flexible jobs you might enjoy trying as a side business. 

    Here are a few ideas for you to explore and see what might be of interest to you: 

    • Freelance Writer
    • Photographer
    • Blogger
    • Website Designer
    • Start an online shop
    • Sell baked goods
    • Sell flowers
    • Sell crafts
    • Start your own business

    What should I be doing as a stay-at-home mom?

    When you decide to be a stay at home mom, it can be a bit intimidating to figure out what your daily schedule should look like, or what exactly your role encompasses. Let’s explore what the different roles that a stay at home mom is usually responsible for. 

    Your stay-at-home mom job roles

    Mom wears many hats, so what exactly should you be doing as a stay at home mom? Here are a few main categories you will likely be in charge of to get you started on the right path. 


    As a stay at home mom, one of your primary roles will be as the main caretaker for your children. Basically you will want to not only take care of the kids but of all the needs of your family. You can do this by making sure the children are cared for, fed, clothed, clean, and are ready for their day. 


    When you are a stay at home mom, you are also usually the homemaker, aka housekeeper. You will be responsible for keeping the house clean and things moving along. This will also entail doing the laundry so that everyone has clean cloths. Then it’s a good idea to pick up the house, so that you aren’t always tripping over things. 

    Remember, as the homemaker, you don’t have to be responsible for everything. If you have children that are old enough, it’s good to teach them basic skills around the house, then they can help you out. 


    As a stay at home mom, you will also likely be the one in charge of preparing meals for your family. If you are able to cook from scratch, this is going to be the healthier, and cheaper option. But it’s okay to cheat once in a while, if you are in a pinch. 


    Many stay at home moms are also the primary educator for their children by homeschooling the kids. This is not always the case, as some families send the kids to public school or private school, but homeschooling your children is always a great option to consider. 


    Wait, accountant, what? By accountant, I simply mean that you might need to keep track of the family budget so that your finances stay on track, and you don’t live beyond your means. Setting the budget is still something that you and your spouse will want to do together, but the day to day budget tracking can be kept up to date as part of your routine. 

    Realistic expectations for stay at home moms

    Social media often influences us to have very high expectations of a stay at home mom and her children. I’m here to remind you that this is not always the full picture. If you set your expectations too high, you will be frustrated with yourself for not living up to the high standards. Let’s try to set realistic expectations for you as you begin your stay at home mom journey. 

    Expect chaotic days as a sahm

    There will be days where everything seems like chaos, and nothing goes right. Don’t be hard on yourself or your family on those days. Give grace, and remember that tomorrow is a new day. 

    Expect little to no productivity, as a stay-at-home mom

    Seasons of life will impact how much you get done in a day. If you have young children, don’t try to set your expectations too high. Little ones need more attention, and care, so you may not be able to do all of the housework you wanted. 

    Expect to be lonely at home

    Even though you may have your children around you all of the time, it can still seem very lonely to the stay at home mom at times. If you are able to, try and find ways to regularly connect with your friends or community, so that you don’t feel so alone. Also, remember, while your spouse is on your team, please don’t put the expectation on them to take away all of your loneliness. 

    Expect a loss of identity when you become a sahm

    Making the transition from having your own career to being a stay at home mom is a sacrifice whether you realize it at first or not. You may go through a time where you feel lost without your job to define you. 

    Expect imperfection, when you stay home

    No one is perfect. Not you, your children, or your spouse. Because no one is perfect, you will want to be sure you aren’t expecting perfection when you become a stay at home mom. 

    Expect pure joy 

    Make sure you are able to lighten up, and enjoy the little things. You just might be surprised how much joy you actually experience when you become a stay at home mama. 

    Tips to Being a Stay At Home Mom

    Identify your values (know why you stayed home in the first place)

    When you make the decision with your husband to become a stay at home mama, it is a good idea to write down your reasons. This way you can go back and read them so that you can always remember why you made this decision in the first place. 

    Strive for a picture-perfect day

    Look for the good things in your day, and you just might be surprised at how much joy and almost picture perfect day you got to enjoy. Don’t try to be perfect, but also don’t let life pass you by. Your children will only be children for a short time, before they grow up, so be sure to soak up today. 

    Identify your passion & pursue it

    Even though your responsibilities as a mom and homemaker may vary, you can still pay attention to what you and your family enjoys more. Then lean into it. That way, your mundane can become your passion. 

    Create and stick to a daily schedule

    Many stay at home moms have found it very helpful to create a daily schedule to help them create a routine. That way things operate much more smoothly. 

    Turn off the TV!!

    A final tip of being a stay at home mom, is to turn off the TV, and I would say even put away your phone. Using screens is a time waster, and you can enjoy life so much more when you are present with your family. 

    mom and red headed girl

    How to Thrive as a new Stay at Home Mom

    Now that you have decided to become a new stay at home mom, here are a few tips to help you thrive, and not just survive in your new role. Remember, these are just a few ideas, and they might look differently for each person. 

    1.  Find your purpose, as a stay-at-home mom

    There are many things you will be responsible for as a stay-at-home mother. Some of the tasks will make you feel worn out and others will give you a purpose. Whatever you find tha you enjoy, be sure to lean into it, to help you thrive. 

    Homeschooling. Homeschooling your children can be a fun adventure. You will learn the best way to get through to each of your children, so that they can learn using their learning style. Also enjoy the fun of seeing life through their eyes as they learn and grow. 

    Community Involvement. If you are looking for ways to get out of the house, be sure to find ways to get involved in your community. This might be getting involved in your local church, volunteering, or simply visiting your local library. 

    Social Involvement. As a stay at home mom, you may often feel alone. There are great ways to get yourself and your kids out of the house, and interacting with other sahm families. This might be through a homeschool group, sports team, or 4-h group as just a few ideas.

    Pursuing a hobby or side gig. Pursuing a side hustle can also help to give you purpose as a stay at home mom, plus generate more income for your family. See what is of interest to you, then pursue how to make money from it. 

    Spiritual Studies. If you are religious, stay up with your spiritual studies. As a Christian, you will want to be sure to spend time reading your bible, to not only nurture your relationship with Jesus, but also give you that grounding time. 

    2.  Make time for yourself as a stay-at-home mom

    Though it might seem selfish at first, it is a good idea to make a little time for yourself each day. I remember my mom reading us this little book when we were younger, where the mom just wanted 5 minute peace. Even just a few minutes will help you be able to recharge and be ready to face the world. 

    Here are a few ideas for you on how to make a few extra minutes for yourself as a stay at home mom during the day: 

    • Get up early
    • Go to bed late
    • Hire a babysitter now and then (after all date nights are good too!)
    • Ask grandma or daddy to take over for a bit
    • Shower just a little bit longer
    • Do something you love during nap time
    • Pee just a little bit longer

    How to be happy as a stay-at-home mom

    Keeping your happiness as a stay at home mom can sometimes be difficult. We often lose track of our vision or forget why we stayed home in the first place. Remember the reasons why you made this decision. 

    Then build a strong bond with your kids. No one is going to replace you, or the connection you have with them. The foundation that you lay now, will be remembered for the rest of their life. Your kids won’t remember all of your accomplishments, but they will remember the time you spent with them and the memories you made together. 

    Thankfulness will also impact your daily happiness. Remember to be thankful for this moment in your life. Be thankful for this opportunity you have to care for your family in this unique way. Be thankful for the little moments each day. 

    How to be a good stay-at-home mom

    Becoming a good stay at home mom isn’t difficult. The main ways you can be a good stay at home mom is by faithfully caring for your family, loving your spouse, spending quality time together with your children, teaching them, training them, and making fun memories together. 

    The icing on the cake is when you are also able to be a homemaker, taking care of the house, keeping it clean and tidy. Also seeing that food is prepared, laundry is kept up to date, and the budget is on track. 

    Life doesn’t go perfectly, and some days might be complete cayos. Remember that tomorrow is a new day for you to begin again. Also remember that your children will only be little once. So don’t let today slip by without enjoying the moment. 

    Becoming a Stay At Home Mom

    To become a stay at home mom you will want to evaluate your situation, and decide if it is something that both you and your spouse agree you should do. Once you make the decision that is best for your family, you will want to come up with a plan to make your dream a reality. Remember being a stay at home mom isn’t an easy job, but it is definitely worth it!

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    About the author
    Thank you for stopping by! My name is Faith, and I am the author behind It is my hope that you will find some inspiration here for your journey of being a Stay at Home Mom.

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